So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
