Fine. I'll sleep in my office
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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