Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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