2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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