he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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