Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
