White coat. Heels.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
The ass gains better be worth it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
