i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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