I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize