Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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