we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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