I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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