I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
