none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
