I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
