i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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