similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
do herpes really smell.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
