Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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