You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
