woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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