Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
