Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The uberlube is also flammable
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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