I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
