do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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