the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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