He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
