Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize