So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
