what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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