Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
