you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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