Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
