Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
