i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
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