I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
