all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just pee around me
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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