This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
