No awkward lesbian experiences without me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
