There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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