:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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