he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
