i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
