Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
