he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize