I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
