Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize