I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
