You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
