Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
