I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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