Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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