So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
