I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize