just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
