So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize