Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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