So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
id be glad to
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
