I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
high people should be assigned attendants
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
