Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
