don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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