I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's never too late to be topless.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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