At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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